• 03/17/2024

What Kills Long-Distance Relationships Fast (Plus, How to Make it Work)

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Long-distance relationships have benefits, like increased independence and you’ll learn how to value time better. However, like any other relationship, it may work or not. Explore what kills long-distance relationships.

1. Lack of Proper Communication

Communication is vital in any relationship. However, it becomes more crucial if you’re in a long-distance relationship. In today’s modern era, you and your lover can use video calls and instant messaging apps to update one another or talk about almost anything. You can also spice up your virtual conversations by playing games together.

More importantly, clear communication allows you to stay connected, even if your partner is on the other side of the world. It helps address issues and avoid conflicts, allowing you to express yourself fully. Without it, emotional distance can widen and make you feel distant from your lover. 

2. Trust Issues 

Trust is the foundation of a romantic relationship. No matter how secure you are in your partnership, lack of proximity can magnify your doubts and insecurities. When left unaddressed, trust issues can creep up.

Lack of trust can lead to misconstrued assumptions, mental exhaustion and overthinking. In your mind, there’s always a feeling that your partner will betray you. Overthinking can sometimes result in jealous outbursts, clinginess and excessive phone calls. 

3. Unresolved Disagreements

While conflicts in a relationship are considered normal, constant arguments that become personal attacks can harm your bond. Conflict resolution is more challenging in long-distance relationships. Disagreements may stem from different factors, such as:

  • Intimacy issues
  • Division of labor
  • Finances
  • Trust issues
  • Jealousy
  • Parenting conflicts
  • Communication problems
  • Problematic behaviors
  • Arguments about leisure time

4. Insecurity

This is one of the common reasons for separation, even for couples living together. Everyone has insecurities. While there’s no way to eliminate them overnight, transparency with your partner is key to a harmonious bond. If you refrain from sharing your bothersome feelings, the relationship might bring more harm than good in the long run. The same principle applies to your partner — they should be open about their insecurities.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are you irritated when someone tries to get your partner’s attention?
  • Do you call to question your lover whenever it takes them too long to pick up the phone?
  • Do you constantly ask for their social media account password?
  • Do you feel anxious when your lover’s hanging out with their friends?

If you answered yes to one or some of these, you should discuss your insecurities with your partner. 

5. Growing Apart

When you, your partner or both of you become different individuals as you grow and evolve, you may notice you’re going in different directions. Signs that you’re veering away from one another include a lack of connection, empathy or intimacy. It feels like you don’t know your lover anymore or vice versa.

6. Boredom

Lack of excitement is what kills long-distance relationships. Remember the first months you and your partner started talking to each other — the butterflies in your belly are always present as you think about them. You spend hours on the call, discussing anything under the sun.

Soon enough, these exciting moments became the norm. The more you know about each other, dealing with silence and awkwardness becomes normal. This is when boredom creeps in, which causes you dissatisfaction in the relationship.

For instance, you always video call at 10 pm before sleep. Back in the day, you talk and ask about each other’s day. Nowadays, you’re playing video games while talking to your partner, leaving them waiting for you to finish. One possible reason you’ve grown detached from this routine is that you’re becoming bored of the usual. Boredom, when unaddressed, is what kills long-distance relationships.

7. Unmet Needs

It’s normal to enter a relationship with expectations. In long-distance relationships, it could mean frequency of communication or commitment levels. If these are not shared with the other person or are not met, it can lead to dissatisfaction.

It’s also expected to have emotional and physical needs and your relationship situation can make meeting these longings more challenging. When these needs aren’t met, it can lead to loneliness and stain in your bond, even though you love each other deeply. This feeling of isolation is what kills long-distance relationships sometimes.

8. Cheating

If you or your partner meet someone close to you, it can tempt any of you to resort to unhealthy acts of cheating.

This is why you and your partner must understand what you’re getting into and be ready for the lack of physical intimacy for a certain period. However, it’s important to remember that cheating is not just physical. You or your partner can also cheat emotionally. It happens when you look forward to talking with someone more than your partner or notice you consistently turn to someone for connection or comfort instead of your partner.

Some common signs of cheating include making strange purchases, getting moody more often, being overprotective of their phone and telling small lies. Remember that these are just signs — they aren’t always the cause, so take it with a grain of salt and communicate with your partner.

How to Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work

Navigating a long-distance relationship is not without its challenges. Here are some tips you and your partner can practice to strengthen your relationship.

Set an End Date

Knowing when you’ll see each other helps both parties anticipate the time you’ll finally be physically together. Setting an end date on the long-distance set-up makes you and your lover equally committed to the relationship.

Stay Committed

Know what you’re getting into. If you know you can’t stand being together separately, don’t enter or try to salvage your long-distance relationship. You should be willing to love the person wholeheartedly and invest in the partnership, no matter the distance.

Communicate Well

Technology will be you and your lover’s best friend, which will help you to stay connected even if you’re miles apart. Discuss with each other what works for the time and schedule you will spend calling or chatting in a day or week.

Additionally, refrain from doing anything your partner will disapprove of and post it on social media. Stay out of situations that will make them feel uncomfortable within reason.

Hang Out While Apart

Your relationship setup might have forced you and your lover to do more things independently than you’d like, so exploring new things you can do together while you’re miles apart is essential.

Some ideas include reading the same book, playing video games, streaming a movie while on a video call, listening to music or eating the same food together. Planning a surprise package can also make your partner feel extra special.

The Bottomline

Your relationship setup may be causing problems, but remember there are ways to fix it. Start by identifying the issues first, communicating and being honest with one another.

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