Is Your Partner Cheating? 10 Red Flags to Watch For

Relationships aren’t supposed to stay in the honeymoon phase. Eventually, both partners find a more realistic connection where they can work through the occasional disagreement or challenge while remaining in love. You might be among the many people wondering if your partner is cheating if you never reached that stage or couldn’t maintain it.

Check your relationship for these common red flags before letting panic make your decisions. You’ll give your partner the benefit of the doubt as long as possible before starting the conversation which may result in you splitting ways.

1. Their Communication Changed

Two people in any relationship sometimes change how often or how well they communicate. Sometimes life gets busy and you can’t talk as frequently, but cheating changes the communication between two partners in more detrimental ways.

Your partner might refrain from talking with you while you share a meal or hang out on the weekends. They could feel closed off when conversations happen, like they’re holding back. These red flags often make people wonder if their partner is cheating because their connection feels off.

2. They Tell Small Lies

People say white lies all the time. The lies are primarily harmless and intended to avoid minor complications. Recent research shows that 75% of people tell one to two small lies daily.

Telling someone you understand what they’re saying when you really don’t is different than covering up major betrayals. However, more frequent white lies might indicate that your partner is getting more comfortable with more significant lies. Being dishonest about bigger things can make people feel less guilty about more minor lies. Keep track of how many white lies you catch your partner in and consider if the number is outside their typical character.

3. They Get Protective of Their Phone

Even if your compatibility aligns in the stars, you and your partner might face a rocky road ahead if they’re overprotective of their phone. You might find it on the counter and return it to them, but they get mad that you handled it alone in the first place. You could also turn to chat with your partner on the couch and they accuse you of trying to read whatever they were doing on their phone.

Both situations could be red flags. They may indicate that your partner is cheating through text messages, phone calls and other evidence in their phone.

4. They Make Strange Purchases

Arguing about money doesn’t automatically mean your partner is cheating. Researchers recently found that 73% of cohabitating couples name their finances as a source of relationship tension. The red flags appear when partners start making unusual purchases.

If you have a shared checking account, you might see purchases you don’t recognize with brands or locations your partner doesn’t usually don’t buy from. Your partner may also struggle to pay bills they’d typically cover without issue if you don’t share a bank account.

5. They Get Moody More Often

Mood swings happen all the time, but they don’t last long. Your partner could have something weighing on their mind if their mood remains on edge or depressed. They might snap at you during casual conversations or pick fights often. People often get defensive when covering something up or struggle with low self-esteem because they know they’re doing something wrong.

6. They’re Not Interested in Intimacy 

When your sex life experiences long-term changes, something could be affecting it from outside your bedroom. Your partner might not kiss you casually anymore, hug you in public or start intimate moments at home because they feel guilty.

They could also have a sexual relationship with someone else, fulfilling their physical needs. However, cheating doesn’t always involve sex. Emotional intimacy with a third person could make a partner feel apprehensive about physical intimacy with their significant other. 

7. They’re Leaving Home More Often

You know your partner’s typical routine, especially regarding their social life. It may strike you as odd when they leave home more often and are more social than usual. When you ask them what they’re doing, they could give you little to no information. Vague excuses or explanations might become red flags for cheating if they pop up every week.

8. They Accuse You of Cheating

Guilty people sometimes point fingers at others. Your partner could feel better about distracting you by accusing you of cheating. It might make you second-guess yourself or worry about your part in the relationship when your partner is actually the person breaking your monogamous boundaries.

9. They Don’t Want to Bond

Couples are in healthy relationships when they support each other in their hobbies. It’s good to show interest in what your partner enjoys because supporting them shows your love and respect.

Your partner should glow under your attention if you want to learn more about their hobby or watch them do what they love. When they’re cheating, they’re more likely to push you away. Bonding moments create vulnerability. Vulnerability makes it harder to keep secrets.

10. They Lose Their Core Characteristics

Everyone has core components of their character. They’re why you fell in love with your partner and what makes them different from others. When someone starts cheating, they may do so because they don’t like who they are. As the cheating continues, the person may start acting differently because they prefer the new person they’re becoming.

Watch for significant changes like your partner leaving their faith, losing interest in old passions or even changing their sense of humor. It could mean they’re avoiding their guilt by abandoning their old life. When you don’t recognize the person you’re in a relationship with, your concerns are worth discussing.

Determine if Your Partner’s Cheating

Every person and relationship are different. Your partner may show one or all of these signs if they find a connection outside your relationship. The key is to watch for recurring red flags. If they show up repeatedly, the red flags could mean your partner is cheating. Bring them up in the conversation to present your concerns calmly to facilitate a better discussion when you’re ready to talk about it.