• 04/25/2024

Relationship Questions Every New Couple Needs to Know About

A man and a woman sitting on a couch.

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You just met someone, and sparks are flying high. The sparks are there, but there may be some fill-in-the-blanks about your new partner that you are dying to discover. Whether it is about their favorite hobbies or best family vacation, don’t be afraid to dive into those new relationship questions!

Why Even Ask?

Yes, you feel that connection everyone in a romcom talks about, but feelings don’t answer questions about your partner. What makes them tick? Asking new relationship questions breaks the ice and allows trust to build in your relationship. Getting-to-know-you questions will help prevent misunderstandings and misinterpretations early on, helping to maintain that spark from the first date. 

Approaching the Right Questions

Thinking about the questions ahead of time is a good idea. However, you want to ensure you hit all aspects of your partner’s life to build a trusting relationship. Remember, these questions do not need to be asked in a single conversation but can be spaced out and asked when the timing feels right. 

You want to make sure that the questions you ask are buildable to allow the conversation to flow. Asking questions that spark a conversation prevents your partner from feeling a part of an interrogation and more involved in an organic conversation. 

If you are feeling stuck on the types of questions to ask in your new relationship, here are some topics and sample questions you can keep in mind:

The “Who Are You?” Questions

These questions can seem a little intimidating, but these are the best questions to ask to get to know your partner. “Who Are You?” questions show your interest in your partner’s life and history and give you the confidence and opportunity to share more about yourself. Being the one to ask these questions will also show how deep your partner is willing to get with their answers. These questions can be as surface-level or deep as you want them to be. Just gauge your partner and their comfort when asking these questions.

● Who is your role model?

● Who knows you the best?

● What is your greatest achievement?

● How would your friends describe you?

● How do you practice self-care?

● Are you a morning or night person?

The Background Questions

Gaining insight into your partner’s background is an important step to learning their values and morals. Feeling comfortable asking these questions will open the door to seeing if you share the same moral compass. These questions can range from family background to embarrassing stories. Background questions are what you make them and can be a fun way to hear the stories that make your partner who they are. Like the “Who are you?” questions, you can get as deep as you and your partner feel comfortable with. Who knows, maybe you can both bond over the awkward middle-school phase!

● Do you come from a big or small family?

● What is your best childhood memory?

● Which family member were you closest to growing up?

● What after-school activities did you participate in?

● What college did you attend and why? 

● Why did your last relationship end? 

The “What -If” Questions

A great way to break the ice, especially when getting ready to ask deeper questions, is to ask those “What If” questions. These questions are a great way to see how your partner thinks in the moment. Do they analyze the problem? Do they dive right in and go with the flow? These questions will show you how they really approach life!

● What are three things you would bring to a deserted island?

● If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

● If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

● If you could wake up tomorrow and change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

● If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

● If you could go back in time, what would you do differently?

The Favorite Questions

Everyone has favorite things. Asking your partner what their favorites are is a great way to introduce what you like and see what you have in common. These questions are also an excellent way to use your knowledge to surprise or celebrate them. 

● What is your favorite movie or TV show?

● What is your favorite food?

● What is your favorite quote?

● What is your favorite weekend activity?

● What is your favorite animal?

● What is your favorite dessert?

The Love Language Questions

At the end of the day, you might want to show your partner how much you care by making a home-cooked meal or surprising them with a gift. Would your partner do the same thing? Knowing how they show their appreciation is essential to any developing or ongoing relationship. Your partner might show that they care by snuggling while watching a movie or bringing home a bouquet of flowers. Knowing your partner’s love language will help show them how much you care as your relationship blossoms.

● How do you feel most appreciated?

● How do you show others you care?

● What is your ideal date?

● What is the best gift you could give your partner?

● What is your biggest turn-on? What is your biggest turn-off?

● When do you feel the most relaxed?

New Relationship, New Questions, New You

Entering a new relationship is an exciting time for anyone. However, asking those getting-to-know-you questions can be intimidating when trying to get to know your partner. Asking these introduction questions will allow you to get to a point where the deeper, more intimate questions will come naturally and allow you and your partner to feel more confident and comfortable sharing. Starting to get comfortable asking your partner questions will also allow your relationship to strengthen as it continues. Being open to asking and answering new relationship questions will not only preserve the connection blossoming between you and your partner but will also allow you to recognize the traits that are important to you in a partner and yourself.

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