What Is Inner Child Work? The Playground of Higher Healing

Apart from filing taxes and going to the doctor more frequently, why do your adult years feel so different from childhood? Imagination seems to dissolve, and a fascination for life becomes less intense. What you may not realize is there are unresolved feelings and, at worst, trauma from your early years you haven’t processed. What are these complex feelings about our youth? It’s time to do some inner child work to discover what lies within.

What Is Inner Child Work?

Inner child work is a way for people to heal from childhood events. The origins of these emotional wounds vary drastically from person to person. The layers could make it complex, while others know the exact source. Perhaps you weren’t loved enough by someone, or you weren’t able to play or be creative. More severe life events could have warped your perception of your development and relationships. 

Regardless of your story and if you know what ails you, inner child work seeks to unpack your youth with the awareness and wisdom of your adult experience. You dig deep within, exploring your subconscious, and recognizing the personality traits and coping mechanisms you might have developed because of your childhood.

Relationships and moments from our childhood may end up repressed, so special techniques are required to safely uncover and deal with these instances as an adult. Seeking professional assistance with a certified expert could be the best way to start your journey. 

How Do I Know My Inner Child Needs Healing?

Unwelcome memories of childhood bullying could be the subject of nightmares. A parent’s neglect might manifest in how you interact with your family. The best way to know if you need inner child work is by assessing your reactivity to the past. If you find threads connecting triggers, insecurities, needs and pain points to childhood, childhood trauma could be the root. What are some common traits signaling a need to heal?

Are you the type who would rather do things on your own because you can’t rely on or trust anyone else? Have you considered why this might be in relation to the type of people you were surrounded by as a child? Independence is a positive aspect to have, but it shouldn’t cause you to be emotionally walled or stubborn to accept help. Nobody should have to go through life without a support system.

Another red flag might relate to your attachment style, which there are four types: 

• Dismissive-avoidant: Independent but antisocial.
• Fearful-avoidant: Longs intimacy but may feel erratic and distrusting of close relationships.
• Anxious-preoccupied: Exposed to prolonged neglect or hovering from loved ones, leading to self-esteem insecurities.
• Secure: Balanced intimacy and independence. 

All but “secure” types must understand the cause of their attachment style. Inner child healing may be the key to overcoming struggles to connect with others.

Finally, if you struggle with mental health concerns, such as depression and social anxiety, this could be a cue. If you have low self-esteem, unhealthy relationship dynamics, immaturity, self-sabotage tendencies, or bottled your emotions, this could come from your early years.

How Can I Start Healing My Inner Child?

Schedule appointments with professionals to discuss ideas. Pose to a therapist or other expert about how you think there are aspects of your childhood you think could be the reason behind certain behaviors or limiting beliefs in your adult life. If you are unable to meet with someone, these are some exercises you can do to work on yourself.

Pause on Your Reactions

Your parents may have been harsh to you about your grades. Then, you get your annual review at work, and you are beating yourself up because it isn’t perfect. Inner child work begins with you pausing when you react to everything and meeting that feeling with curiosity. Work with that feeling in a completely impartial way.

Ask yourself, “That was a curious way to emotionally respond to that meeting, even though I got a promotion and raise. Does this coincide with a pattern in my childhood?” 

It’s important to ask these questions for positive reactions, too. Why? You need to see the nourishing interactions and experiences to learn what means the most to you. Then, figure out how you can transform negative moments by framing them into ones that look like positive, growth moments?

Consider Your Support System

You become who you surround yourself with. The adage exists for a reason. To heal, the people around you need to:

• Care about your healing journey.
• Have self-awareness to overcome their traumas.
• Have personalities that support a fulfilling life.
• Make an effort to promote helpful growth.

Abusive, neglectful people hinder inner child work. If you have toxic friendships, partners, and caregivers, maybe it is time to sever ties or intervene. You could do all the inner work, but the trauma will not fully recover if the support system’s links are rusting and breaking.

Try At-Home Techniques

Therapists and clinicians have an impressive tool kit to help you perform inner child work. However, there are several you can safely do at home. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Shadow work journaling: Using prompts to analyze all parts of yourself with compassion and understanding.
• Art therapy: Participate in a creative outlet to express your inner child, such as painting or music.
• Visualization: Safely connect with your younger self by reimagining scenarios and contextualizing emotions.
• Meditation: Sit and allow thoughts to flow freely without judgment, making mental notes of trends while always focusing on breath and presence.

Play

The most important reason to do inner child work is to regain that zest for life that trauma may have compromised in your adult years. You don’t have to wait until your inner child work mission is at its end to feel like a kid again — do something joyful today and the next to reinforce the importance of happiness and self-confidence.

Feel Release for the First Time

Your inner child remains, no matter your age. It was a formative part of your life, and it lingers with you until your final breath. We should tend to it with as much care as we do when we do our daily self-care habits. However, this might require more vulnerability and tough decisions. No matter your story, you can do it by focusing on your inner child today.