• 03/30/2024

This Is How to Truly Let Go of Someone You Love

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Humans thrive on relationships that make them feel loved, happy, respected, important and cared for. What if you’re no longer getting any of these from your present relationship? Learn how to let someone go and signs that tell you and your partner already had a good run.

Why Is It So Hard to Let Go?

Relationships with other people are what make life more meaningful. Love isn’t something that you can get rid of overnight, even if you’ve finally decided to let go and move forward. There are many reasons why this essential action can be challenging, including:

  • Your attachment: The truth is, you’re still emotionally attached to the person. When you’ve spent much time with someone, you cling to them. 
  • Your ego: You want to be right all the time. You link your identity with your values, thoughts and choices. When letting go doesn’t feel right, but deep inside you want to do it, you may feel like you’re committing a grave mistake. However, when you think about it, nobody lives a faultless life.
  • You’re afraid: Perhaps you’re clinging to someone because you’re scared of being alone. The thought of a future without the person you used to love but no longer serves you feels overwhelming, so you set the idea of letting go aside.

Signs It’s Time to Let Go and Move On

If you’re still unsure if the relationship is worth holding on to, here are signs that signal it’s time to move forward without them:

1. Your Values Aren’t Aligned

Your beliefs and values help guide you in decision-making and living a life you truly want. Having someone supporting you and your ideals is crucial to a relationship. However, it might be time to let go if your loved one’s thoughts and decisions don’t align well with yours.

For instance, you want to be a parent and bear a child soon, but your partner feels strongly about having no kids. If this is non-negotiable and you don’t feel comfortable that your lover is unwilling to compromise, maybe it’s time to part ways.

2. They Make You Feel Unsafe

Love should make you feel safe. Abuse, in any form, shouldn’t be tolerated. It’s a waving red flag, signaling you to let go. 

Domestic violence affects around 10 million people yearly — one in four women and one in nine men are victims. However, some people find it challenging to recognize it, believing that an action wasn’t “that bad.” When you feel like you’re walking on eggshells when spending time with your partner, it’s time to exit from the relationship. 

3. You Feel Emotionally Drained

Observe how you feel, talk and act when your partner’s around. You’re likely unhappy or unsatisfied if you feel physically, mentally or emotionally exhausted. While every relationship has its fair share of downsides, perhaps it’s about time to cut ties if you can only recount the negative memories of the relationship.

4. They Disrespect Your Boundaries

Think of a boundary as an imaginary line that separates acceptable and unacceptable behaviors in romantic relationships or friendships. This is essential in every relationship because it’s a form of self-respect, guiding others on how you want to be treated. When someone loves you, they should honor and respect it so you feel safe.

If the other person refuses to respect your boundaries after communicating them or pressure you to do something you’re uncomfortable with, that’s when you know you have to let go.

5. They’re Sabotaging Your Growth

Sometimes, a relationship isn’t necessarily toxic, but you realize you’ve already outgrown your other half. If you feel like your partner resents your success or tells you they don’t believe in your capabilities instead of cheering for you, that person isn’t ideal for you. This also applies if you feel like you’re not headed in the same upward direction.

6. The Relationship Is One-Sided

Mutual efforts and respect are essential in a thriving relationship. If you feel your efforts aren’t reciprocated or if you feel like they’re not keeping their side of the bargain, you probably want to walk away.

How to Finally Let Go, Even Though It’s Hard

Are you ready to say goodbye to the painful past and embrace growth? Here’s what you have to know about how to let someone go.

1. Be Honest with Yourself

Once you’re ready to let go of someone, ask yourself some uncomfortable questions:

  • What are your reasons for wanting a breakup?
  • What reasons are making it difficult for you to let go?
  • What issues remain unresolved?
  • Were there red flags that you’ve ignored or downplayed?

Knowing the answers to these inquiries will help you in the next step.

2. Have an Open Conversation

After evaluating the relationship, have a conversation with the person. Sit them down, express your thoughts and give them space to react to your concerns. If they dismiss, get defensive or attack you, let go. 

3. Accept What You Can’t Control

In these moments, remember that you only have control over your actions. You don’t have any say or right over how the other person will react to your sentiments. More importantly, avoid making assumptions about their thoughts or feelings.

4. Trust the Process

Letting go of someone you love or used to adore is painful and the despair you’ll feel after the conversation will be worth it in the future. According to an online survey of 2,000 people in the U.S., it takes around 3.5 months for individuals to heal and be ready to date again. To speed up the healing process, avoid cyberstalking.

5. Lean On Your Support System

You’ll need the love and support of your friends and family to help you get through your journey. Holding your feelings to yourself can make you feel stuck, which might turn into anxiety or depression. Talking to someone you trust can keep you from returning to your ex.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Avoid losing sight of yourself in the process. Take this opportunity to fall in love with yourself — indulge in self-care practices, reignite your passions and explore new hobbies. Stay busy to keep your mind off what happened in the past.

Are You Ready to Let Someone Go?

Knowing how to let someone go is the first step. It will be uncomfortable, but the liberating feeling will be worth it. Soon enough, you’ll heal and have room for better opportunities for growth and the love you deserve.

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