Has Wedding Culture Become Too “Extravagant”?

Weddings used to be about love, commitment and maybe a slice of cake. Now, it’s outfit changes, fireworks and drone footage — all for one day. With budgets ballooning and social media driving the need for picture-perfect everything, it’s easy to wonder if the celebration has lost its soul. Has wedding culture become more about the spectacle than the vows? If you’re planning your big day, this is your permission slip to question whether you really need all this or just the parts that feel like you. 

1. The Numbers Don’t Lie

In recent years, wedding price tags have entered luxury territory. The average cost of a US wedding hit $33,000  in 2023, with some major cities charging even more than that. In 2024, that number rose to a whopping $34,000 and will likely continue to rise. That’s all before you factor in the honeymoon, bridal showers, engagement parties or the second reception your parents insist on hosting. 

What’s more surprising is that even so-called micro-weddings for 50 guests or fewer are clocking in at five-figure budgets. It’s not just about scaling down anymore — it’s about scaling up the wow factor like custom menus, professional lighting, couture gowns and branded dance floors. 

The pressure to deliver an unforgettable experience doesn’t just come from within. Friends expect an open bar and designer flower walls. Family wants tradition and social media is watching every curated second. 

2. Social Media and the Pinterest Problem 

If you’ve ever fallen down a Pinterest rabbit hole, you already know that wedding inspiration is a double-edged sword. One second you’re saving minimalist flower arrangements and the next you’re considering importing Icelandic moss because someone on TikTok said it gives the ceremony “ethereal woodland vibes.” 

Social media platforms have turned weddings into aesthetic projects. The goal is visual storytelling that gets likes. This obsession with content can turn even the most grounded bride into a production manager. 

It’s also not just visual pressure, but emotional pressure, too. Brides end up comparing their big day to a stranger online who might have a much larger budget. Grooms even stress about how to make their proposal Pinterest-perfect. 

3. Who Are You Doing This For? 

Here’s a bold question worth asking: Who is this wedding for? Too often, the answer isn’t you. It’s your mom’s guest list, your future mother-in-law’s insistence on a second dress or that one friend who’s deemed it tacky not to have signature cocktails. Cultural traditions can add depth and beauty, but they can also fuel pressure to over-deliver. 

This isn’t about rejecting celebration. Instead, it’s about reclaiming it. Extravagance is okay, as long as you really want it and don’t feel obligated to live up to someone else’s expectations. The only thing a wedding really needs is intention, joy and love that feels like yours. 

4. Adventure Elopements and Anti-Weddings 

In a world of over-the-top celebrations, some couples are ditching the fuss and running straight toward freedom.  Enter the anti-wedding wedding. Think barefoot beach weddings, mountaintop matrimony or saying “I do” in a hot air balloon. Adventure elopements are booming because they’re budget-friendly and fun. 

Over 60% of engaged couples have considered eloping. The appeal is less pressure, more personality and memories that feel like a true reflection of the couple — not just a Pinterest board.

5. How to Ditch the Pressure

You don’t have to elope in the forest to plan a wedding with intention. Whether you’re going big, small or somewhere in between, here’s how to ditch the pressure and create a celebration that feels aligned with you: 

• Reclaim your budget. Before you commit to anything, ask yourself if you would still do the thing if nobody ever saw it online. If the answer is no, skip it. Budget for what matters — whether it’s a meaningful and intimate ceremony, amazing food or a saxophonist who plays your favorite pop songs. 

• Trim the guest list. You are allowed to say no to plus ones and distant cousins. A tighter guest list means more meaningful connections and less logistical chaos. 

• Set boundaries. Communicate with your family about expectations. If they’re contributing financially, have a transparent conversation about what that does and doesn’t include in terms of decision-making. This will allow you to ensure that nobody takes advantage of you or the fact that they have some monetary influence on your wedding. 

• Choose one “Wow” moment. Instead of trying to do everything, pick one standout feature — like a flower installation, live band or interactive dessert bar. Let that one thing shine and forget about any other big moments. 

• Focus on the feeling. Decide what feel you want your big day to have — emotional, relaxed, whimsical. Let that guide you in your choices rather than wedding trends. 

6. Extravagance Isn’t the Enemy 

Let’s be clear, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a lavish wedding. If fireworks and a gospel choir are your jam, go for it. The problem isn’t the extravagance, but rather when extravagance becomes the standard rather than the choice. 

Your wedding is a celebration of your love, not your aesthetic. It’s not about your ability to impress or even your guest list. When you plan from a place of honesty, clarity and joy, your day will be extraordinary, whether it costs $1,000 or $100,000. 

So, whether you’re walking down the aisle in a designer gown or dancing barefoot under fairy lights in your yard, the rule is simple — if it brings you joy, it belongs. If it doesn’t, you have permission to let it go. Your love doesn’t need a filter, drone or viral hashtag to matter. It just needs to be real. 

Vow Less, Live More 

Here’s your bold reminder — you’re not auditioning for the role of “perfect bride.” You’re starring in your own love story and the only requirement is that it feels true. Trends will change, budgets will stretch and Aunt Linda will still complain that the cake is too dry. But if you and your partner end the day more in love than you started it, you’ve won. 

So, whether you’re throwing a lavish bash or keeping it radically simple, remember that this isn’t just about the wedding — it’s a launch party for the rest of your life. The best part is that you don’t need confetti cannons to make it unforgettable. You just need you, your partner and the unbreakable bond you share.